Fifteen Years

Hello there. Writing a quick thank you. WordPress informed me that I had been blogging for fifteen years! So thank you for following my words while I share my thoughts, observations, inanities and opinions!

A lot has changed in fifteen years. So, so, so much. But that’s life. Ever changing. It’s not supposed to be stagnant. Or fair. If life was fair socks would never have their own designated drawer. Am I right?

I actually reread an old blog posting of mine from 2009. It was about some quiz people were taking called “Top 5 Things I Hate That Everyone Else Seems To Like.” Hate is a pretty strong word so I used “Strongly Dislike.” I was curious to see how I had grown. Evolved. Am I ever changing?

Nope. No growth in that category. I’m here to tell you my dislikes haven’t changed one little minute. Those five things are still things that do not appeal to me. But, and I have to say this, they are just things. Except Justin Timberlake. He is not a thing.

I am still not a fan of Uggs or Justin Timberlike. And that poor boy has never done a darn thing to me. I want to like him. But I am not there yet. I guess some things don’t change. I also don’t like honey because it’s sticky. So you can see where my head is at any given moment.

But have I grown as a person? Since 2009? Yes, I have. One could even argue not for the better. 🙂 But I have made changes.

Most recent change has to do with the loss of my beloved parents. Besides grief the reality is that there ain’t nobody left between me and God. So, there’s that truth bomb. What do I do with that and how do I live the best life-not my best life? I found that as a person advocates, navigates health care, oversees legal matters, dismantles a childhood home, experiences the death process etc. a whole lot of “unasked for” learning takes place. I’ve prioritized, planned, executed and been more decisive than my Libra self ever thought possible. I try to share my experience. I am applying what I have learned to my own life. But honestly, I’ve just learned to be more self aware. How does that learning translate into actual change?

What can I let go of now? Do I want to engage in this or that? How can I better prepare? Is it necessary to climb on the drama roller coasters with others? What is truly important as I move forward? How can I do my part in the world?

These questions and my honest answers are what brings me some solace while I continue my journey toward change and evolution.

Wishing you all a wonderful week!

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#15

Woke up to snow on the car this morning. Not much. Just enough to remind a person not to get too cocky when it comes to New England weather.

Here is number 15 on the “We Will Get Through This Cold Spell” list.

Grab a pencil. Or a laptop. And start exploring/researching three places you would like to visit when the weather starts cooperating. Doesn’t have to be a big, expensive trip. Might be in your own backyard. It usually is.

Could be a hike. Or a restaurant. A farm. An ice cream stand. A festival. Wine trail. Antique show. A picnic area. Cheese trail.

Write them down and then post the list where you will see it. A visual reminder of sunny days! And let’s face it, we both know that lists are way better than our memory banks when it comes to actually bringing a thought to life. Getting it done!

I have TONS of things I’d love to do. Places to visit. I hope to get a few of them crossed off my spring/summer list.

Latest addition that I just have to share with you.

It’s a lavender farm. Only a few years old. Looks gorgeous. As lavender fields are wont to do. Located in Connecticut. What a great excuse for Northeast folks to take a day trip and lap up some beauty!

Supporting farmers. Buying local. Soaking up the scent. Being outdoors.

Have a look at Lavender Pond Farm if you are interested. Share with any friends that might also want to put this on their own “To Do” list.

While you are on their site have a look under the tab “About” and read “Our Story.”

A line from a children’s book, “Miss Rumphius” written by Barbara Cooney becomes a part of this family’s journey.

“What have you done to make the world a more beautiful place?” 

A shared favorite of the owner and her mother. Often read and enjoyed. Especially during her Mom’s final days before she succumbed to cancer. After having lived with it for more than a decade. She sounded like a very brave and special lady.

This lavender farm is not just paying homage to the farmer’s memory of her beloved mother. It’s also this family’s way of making the world a more beautiful place.

Totally on my list.

All of it.

 

 

 

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Proper Goodbye

I was reading an article about 2,000 Nebraskans attending the funeral of a Vietnam veteran. The report said he had no known family. And asked the public to attend. Lovely gesture.

This fellow served our country and deserved a proper goodbye.

Drumroll. Marching in my little girl idealism. Hope I never get too old for it.

Wouldn’t it be so beautiful if everyone had a proper goodbye?

Maybe it’s religion, culture and tradition that warps my thinking. We (my people) have wakes, funerals, month’s minds, annual and memorial Masses. All a part of the farewell.

But that is providing that one actually has family and friends who organize the wake and funeral with the mortuary. Will attend the gatherings. Visit the graveside. Remember to contact the church to have Masses said in the decedent’s memory.

What if those people don’t exist?

Not everyone has family. But for those who don’t have family one hopes that there are, at least, friends.

This past Spring, an old work chum named Peter, posted a message, “No one should go alone.”

He wrote, “Don’t put all of your eggs in the “family basket” or you might find yourself alone at the end of the journey. Make sure to put half of your eggs in the “friend basket.” Said it was important to have one person that you can trust. Even if a neighbor or a landlord.

A couple of weeks later, Peter mentioned that it was his tenant, Bob, he was referring to in the previous post. Said that Bob earned his wings. He had been renting from Peter for three years. Bob became an instant friend and the family soon called him, “Uncle Bob.” Peter’s grandchildren would check on him, send up the mail or newspaper to him.

Uncle Bob was a bachelor and eighty-nine years old when he died. Only survivor was an elderly sister in Delaware.

Peter said that he and his wife would be attending a memorial service for Bob the following week. Wanted to make sure there were at least two people attending Bob’s funeral. 😦

He immediately got lots of comments from his Facebook friends saying how sorry they were for his loss. No one noted or seemed to pick up on the fact that Peter would be the only person attending this man’s funeral.

I was in Delhi preparing to come back home for the summer. I also chimed in and told Peter I was sorry for his loss and if I were back in the U.S.A. I would surely join him at the memorial service. He said, as of that moment, the only attendees would be the undertaker, the lawyer (will), Peter and his wife.

That made me so very sad. He told me the date of the service. I would have some jet lag, for sure, but I thought I could make it.

I showed up at the cemetery that morning. Joined Peter, his wife, the undertaker and the lawyer in saying goodbye to a stranger. Who also happened to be a fellow human being.

Wouldn’t it be so beautiful if everyone had a proper goodbye?

We’re all just walking each other home.

 

 

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