Posts Tagged ‘mom’

I was recently talking to one of my daughters who is away at university. She mentioned an upcoming party.

So, of course, I don’t stop being a Mom just because she’s away. Feeling like I have to get all of my last minute warnings in- just in case I should expire in the next few hours and the opportunity is lost.

I say, “I know you don’t party but if you did… you remember the rule, right?”

The guessing game begins. Because there are about a million rules we teach our girls. I’ve been doing it for years. Hammering these points home. Over and over again. We do it because we want to protect them. We want them to protect themselves.

She says, “Stay in a group?”

“No, not that one. But yes, please, stay in a group.”

“Watch my drink? Always keep it with me?”, she asks.

I respond, “No, that’s not it. Yes, yes, of course! Watch your drink and keep it with you always!”

It’s not just me. Parents are giving these same warnings to their daughters all over the U.S. I remember reading an article years ago about Christie Brinkley (former wife of Billy Joel) telling her daughter Alexa Ray (who was at or beginning university) to watch her drink so no one puts anything in it. 

My daughter questions, “Don’t walk home at night by myself?”

“Not that! But yes, please do not walk home at night by yourself!”

I just can’t help myself. 

Finally, we “I” get to the point.

“If you drink do not get behind the wheel. Call an Uber.”

She’s like, “Of course, Mom.”

Those are just a few examples of what I have actually shared with my daughters. Over and over again. There are a ton more. As we are all well aware.

The interesting thing is that we only share these warnings with our girls. There is no need to tell these things to our boys.

Why is that?

Okay, maybe just the one, “If you drink do not get behind the wheel. Call an Uber.”

So sad.

I am hoping for change.

 

 

 

 

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Was visiting my Mom this summer.

One day, after her shower, she says to me, “Gosh, as short as my hair is I just hate to dry it.”

I replied, “Me, too. I don’t think anyone likes to dry their hair.”

She laughed and said, “I thought it was just me.”

Nope.

Had same conversation with my husband when passing by “Drybar” a week later.

He said, “Good for her!”

Meaning the woman who started this booming business.

No cuts. No color. Just blowouts. They are in the business of drying hair. Yes, drying hair.

She’s making beaucoup bucks.

I said, “No one likes to dry their hair.”

He replied, “Wished I had known that.”

As in “Maybe he would have started that business before her??”

I remember laughing with my friend in California about the “missed opportunity” that can present itself when you use a towel.

I never dry my hair right away. Goes up into a big, white towel. And it could stay there. Minutes, hours and maybe even days.

Seriously though. When you have your hair up in a towel it’s like a clock (or bomb) ticking. If you leave it too long? Missed your opportunity! Have to start process all over again. Wet and wrap up in a towel once more!

Good for that lady. The Drybar dame. She didn’t miss her opportunity. She actually seized it!

There are always opportunities out there.

 

 

 

 

 

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I could go on and on about my mother. I mean, shoot, she literally made me. Doesn’t get much bigger than that!

She also helped form me.

But I wont go on and on today.

I will just share some memories I have of my mother when I had children of my own.

Seems appropriate for Mother’s Day.

When I had my first child my husband drove us home from the hospital. I always knew he was a keeper but it was solidified after the birth of that first kid. He was normally a fast driver. That day he navigated the pot holes of Providence at a snail’s pace. Was like driving with a ninety year old man. Precious cargo.

We pulled up to our home and my mother was already there. She came out the back door to greet us. And I ran into her arms and cried. I don’t know why.

I never thought I would be a victim of hormones. I was happier than I could ever be. I had a healthy, beautiful daughter and a loving husband.

But I was a victim of hormones.

My mother comforted me.

That day she cared for the baby, my husband and me. Cooked us meals. Cleaned.

And then in the evening she was preparing to go home (only a mile away) and I hugged her and cried.

She was like, “Awwww, honey, you cry when you see me and cry when I’m leaving. I don’t want to go.”

Six years later I had another beautiful child. My mom flew to Texas and was there the next day.

I was out of the hospital in no time because this child was not a C-Section like her sister.

But I was feeling worse each day.

My mom, a nurse, said that I should feel better physically each day and I wasn’t. In pain and sweating. She’s the only person in the world I would let look at me. She told me to call the doctor.

Anyway, problem eventually resolved.

But the one thing I remember, might not be a big deal to anyone else, is that when I got into bed that evening I had the cleanest, freshest sheets.

I could never forget it.

I just love her so much.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

Thank you for everything. For your care, compassion and thoughtfulness. Thank you for being there. Always.

 

 

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Tomorrow is my father’s birthday. Those of you who know me personally are aware of how much I miss him. Not a day goes by that he is not on my mind.

But I write a lot about him. What I haven’t written about is my mother. The woman my father was crazy about since the day he met her.

My mother, weirdly enough, is very different from me. She has always been practical, direct, exact and organized.

Um, not me. She’s a Scorpio. I’m a Libra. You get it.

I look like her in many ways. Same height, weight depending on age, foot size, etc.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that she is actually one of the most positive people I know.

When Dad died, at the onset of Mom’s radiation treatments, I thought it would be really difficult.

It wasn’t easy.

But I had a mother who left every radiation session (and I mean every) saying to me as we were getting into the car, “I am so blessed.”

She was thinking of the young women that she chatted with in the rooms. That might have had it worse.

This from a woman who buried her husband a week ago.

She has always said, “No matter how bad things are you can always find some good in it.”

My mother lost her sister due to unfortunate circumstances when they were young and yet she still was there for her parents-writing out thank you notes-because they could not.

She told me, when her younger sister was having some heart problems-probably early 1980s-“I lost one sister. I am not going to lose another.”

She bought her mother a winter coat from her earnings. And also furniture for her parents’ living room.

My mom was the one who advocated for us, stayed up until we were all safely home and went up against folks in our defense.

She worked, maintained a household and did the very best she could.

She was responsible, acted like a parent and was a loyal mother, wife, daughter and sister.

I can’t remember what I had for breakfast but I remember these things.

So, Mom, on Dad’s birthday I want to think about you. And I want to thank you.

To use your words, “I am so blessed.” But I want to add something.

I am so very blessed.

 

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