Just Being Honest

Neighbors of ours recently moved. Headed North to Maine for their next chapter in retirement.

Before they left, like many of us, the need to rid themselves of “stuff” loomed large.

The woman, not on any of the Facebook/social media sites, wanted to donate a few things. A china cabinet and some beds. I offered, social media hound that I am, to post them on one of the “Free” pages.

So, this led to many conversations about being lean and mean, stream-lining and liberating oneself from things.

I said, “Meg, in my experience with many moves, it truly comes down to just one thing. Honesty.”

Note: This does not apply to hoarders who suffer from an illness. I’m just referring to the majority of folks, like us, who have items in our home that we do not use and will never use. But others can use.

For example. The closet.

If there are items in the closet not being worn, chances are, there is a good reason.

It doesn’t fit. Never fit properly. Wrong color. Shoes are uncomfortable. Never been a scarf person. Sleeves too tight on the arms. Pants sag in all the wrong places. Blouse too low-cut. Not a hat lover. Sale item. Out of style. And on and on.

So, if we are being truly honest? We know that none of these things will change. The shoes will never fit like a glove. Not going to wake up one day and suddenly love hats. Sleeves will never miraculously be too loose.

One day, Meg said to me. “Thank you, Mary.”

I asked, “For what?”

She replied, “I was standing in my closet and remembered what you said. I asked myself if I was being honest?”

Meg and her husband are now ensconced in the backwoods of Maine.

A little lighter and a lot freer. Enjoying a life less encumbered.

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Cessation

This posting is self congratulatory.  Also hoping maybe a little helpful to someone out there.

One year ago (and seven days) my husband and I quit smoking cigarettes. We both smoked for decades. Both in our fifties. You can figure out the math.

I was only being a supportive friend to my husband. He said he didn’t want to smoke on this certain day. We were in Mumbai and flying back to Delhi.

I said, “I won’t either.”

And we didn’t smoke that day.

There is some irony here. When we landed in Delhi it was the first day of the country’s “bad air quality” season. Could hardly even see the signs outside the airport. The next day the newspaper reported that breathing this air was akin to smoking forty-five cigarettes. A gas chamber of sorts.

The other thing was that it was a sudden quit. Not planned. So that meant we still had a bunch of cigarette packs. That was bothering me. I don’t like to waste. But we didn’t smoke them and eventually gave them away.

We uploaded a free app on our phones. It’s called Smoke Free. I’d recommend it to anyone who is in process of quitting. Obviously, the smoker needs to make the decision to quit but the app provides constant and positive reinforcement. Shows how much money is saved. How health is improving each day. How many cigarettes NOT smoked. How many life days regained. How much time not spent smoking. That one is insane to think about because they mean actual time you were smoking. Mine is up to 25 days.

It has places to post triggers, cravings, set goals, badges, etc.

For those of you who don’t know. Smoking is powerfully addicting. Terrible.

Crowds of people wouldn’t be milling about the entrances of office buildings, restaurants or bars if it wasn’t.

We have been in many filthy international airport smoking rooms because not smoking during a layover was unthinkable. There is one lounge where you had to lean your face into this machine to light your cigarette. Similar to a car lighter. Looked like you were kissing a big silver machine. That many had previously kissed. Gross.

Of course, the duty free shop at the airport is where we would buy our cartons of cigarettes.

Weather would never be a deterrent.  Puffing away in all sorts of weather and every season.

Would have a cigarette outside airport before picking up bags at the luggage carousel.

Always ensured you didn’t run out of them. Or even ran low.

Nor’easter heading your way? Stock up on milk, bread and cigarettes.

I was pretty good about usually keeping the cigarettes at home when not traveling. If I was out and about during the day I didn’t bring them with me. We also didn’t smoke in the house or in our cars.

Here is the surprising thing. It was easier than I thought it would be.

Way easier. My husband agrees. I stated that we would only do it “cold turkey” and not vape or substitute something else. Because I thought that would make it more difficult.

I am not saying it’s easy. Cravings do occur. I sometimes missed it. But it truly was easier than I thought. You just distract yourself. I personally did a ton of walking. Outside in the polluted air. 🙂

I do believe anyone can quit. It is so liberating. No longer being held hostage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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