Positive Change

How can I (or anyone) take action, to help my fellow countrymen/women, in a positive way?

First of all we need to be honest. And that is really, really hard.

Racism is alive and well in the United States. I don’t have to tell you that. Just turn on the television.

Someone asked me, at a socially distanced barbeque, what percentage of Americans I thought are actually racist. I quickly pulled out a 99% and I included myself in that number. The person who asked the question-along with my husband-did not agree with me.

Maybe I should use the word biased and not racist. Everyone has some bias. Not our fault. It’s in our politics. In our growing up years. In our society. Inherently. We don’t even notice it.

There lies the rub. We don’t even notice it.

We need to notice it. In order to create change we need to take notice and start questioning.

Not too long ago there were only white males in power or positions of authority. We (white people) didn’t even think about it. Until we did. And made changes.

I will share a story from my beloved father’s own mouth. He wasn’t telling me out of pride.

My mother, a bright lady, was a Registered Nurse. She skipped a grade in elementary school, graduated high school and was soon in the nursing program at a Rhode Island hospital. She loved her job and her nursing friends. I can still remember one evening, while I was upstairs in bed, hearing them while they laughed and smoked. I think that is probably the first time I also became aware of someone who was gay. One of Mom’s nurse friends.

Mom worked on the first heart/lung machine in Rhode Island. She also taught others. Pretty cool stuff.

My Dad was always so very proud of her. Almost to his dying day, if he was at a Drs. appointment-hers or his, he always mentioned that she was a nurse.

In the 1960s, when my parents married, three kids quickly arrived on the scene.

So, back then, life gets a bit tricky. And my mom was going to have to quit or cut back hours.

Dad told me, that a male Doctor from the hospital actually called him on the telephone. Asking if Mom could still work. Dad nicely and respectfully told the Doctor that they had a growing family.

When I was listening to my Dad tell this story I was sort of shocked. My stomach kind of lurched. I felt terrible for my mom (although she did work as a nurse part-time for years before going full-time again) -that the decision was not really hers.

I appreciated my father sharing that with me across their dining room table. I also appreciated that in the 1950s and 1960s things looked a whole lot different for women.

Did my Dad’s views change as he got older? Of course, they did.

Why?

Because people took notice and things changed for women.

But how many years had passed before someone noticed?

Now is the time for all of us to pay attention and listen.

Most importantly it is time to take notice.

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Presence Of The Absence

So many books. So little time. Still working on my 100 book challenge!

But it’s all good. I always learn something. Even if it’s not a great read.

Just recently I was reading another book about Edna St. Vincent Millay. I was, once again, reminded of her brilliance. And her care for women and human rights.

There was one quote of hers in this book that touched my heart.

Her beloved mother had just died. A friend was offering an expression of sympathy.

Vincent replied, “But there’s nothing to say. We had a grand time. But it’s a changed world. The presence of the absence is everywhere.”

Touched my heart.

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Story Telling

Everyone loves a good story. I swear that people would give up food and drink to hear a good story.

Okay, maybe just me. But I totally would. I swear.

I LOVE a good story.

Just recently (over the summer holidays) at my cousin’s place, the Irish Social Club, we were told a story that had us on the edge of our seats. It included the East Side, a local restaurant, boxing, an angry young man and a finish with the Boston Marathon.

Jeepers. Okay, there’s that.

Then a more distant memory.

Mazing through the Christian section of Damascus and seeing a big man in a cafe regaling the tea/coffee crowd with old stories. I wished I could understand the Arabic language!

Not long ago.

When my daughter was in the Bay area during her college years, I had sent a birthday gift and list of different things to do in San Francisco. She checked off most on my list but was not able to attend the story telling venue “Fireside.”

Don’t get attached. It’s already a thing of the past. 😦

Here is where I diverge. Still relating to story telling.

I was watching/listening to a story on “The Moth.”

The Moth. It’s a cool thing.

Okay, it was a story about a middle aged woman so I could sort of identify with her. Listened to the podcast, filed away the story for another time and called it a day.

My girlfriend, Mary Ann, works at a book store in an unnamed state. Apparently book stores get loads of books that they cannot sell. For pre-read or not fully/properly edited.

Anyway, she gave me a bunch of free books. Because she’s my friend.

I’m looking at the titles and an author name sounds familiar. Like the same person that was telling a story on “The Moth.”

I google the situation. Yes, it’s her. She is an entertainer (home entertainment), author of a gazillion books, has a billion offspring and also farm animals.

Oh wait, the site directs you to her Amazon store. Because if you followed her blog, book club or page and were the least bit interested in any of her stuff you can buy it and be like her.

Where am I going with this?

Don’t fall for the Martha Stewart nonsense.

She’s written a lot of books. It takes me forever to write a single blog posting. And I don’t even have chickens. Don’t have kids at home. I’m not slow. I’m not quick, I’ll grant you that, but I’m not trailing behind.

Continued message to you. It’s not as easy as one would have you think. I’m not saying the world is full of imposters. I’m just saying take it easy on yourself when comparing with others.

My message to the author. I’m not sure if you have a little help with your writing but please don’t raise the bar too high for the rest of us. Thrilled that you are a go getter. Love that you have an on line store and animals but don’t present an image of “doing it with ease” to the every day woman. Because it’s not easy for many.

 

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Truth

I was at a luncheon today. Not always fun when it’s a good-bye gathering.

Talking to a woman I know.

She says, “From what I hear you’ve been very busy. With the refugee stuff and school things. You really are a good person.”

I say, “Nah. Just doing what I can.”

Lady continues, “No, really!  Because I spend most of my time thinking about me.”

LOL. I almost spewed out the contents of my mouth.

Because I appreciated the honesty of her words.

Sad as it might be.

She was being honest. Totally honest.

 

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