I was recently talking to one of my daughters who is away at university. She mentioned an upcoming party.
So, of course, I don’t stop being a Mom just because she’s away. Feeling like I have to get all of my last minute warnings in- just in case I should expire in the next few hours and the opportunity is lost.
I say, “I know you don’t party but if you did… you remember the rule, right?”
The guessing game begins. Because there are about a million rules we teach our girls. I’ve been doing it for years. Hammering these points home. Over and over again. We do it because we want to protect them. We want them to protect themselves.
She says, “Stay in a group?”
“No, not that one. But yes, please, stay in a group.”
“Watch my drink? Always keep it with me?”, she asks.
I respond, “No, that’s not it. Yes, yes, of course! Watch your drink and keep it with you always!”
It’s not just me. Parents are giving these same warnings to their daughters all over the U.S. I remember reading an article years ago about Christie Brinkley (former wife of Billy Joel) telling her daughter Alexa Ray (who was at or beginning university) to watch her drink so no one puts anything in it.
My daughter questions, “Don’t walk home at night by myself?”
“Not that! But yes, please do not walk home at night by yourself!”
I just can’t help myself.
Finally, we “I” get to the point.
“If you drink do not get behind the wheel. Call an Uber.”
She’s like, “Of course, Mom.”
Those are just a few examples of what I have actually shared with my daughters. Over and over again. There are a ton more. As we are all well aware.
The interesting thing is that we only share these warnings with our girls. There is no need to tell these things to our boys.
Why is that?
Okay, maybe just the one, “If you drink do not get behind the wheel. Call an Uber.”
So sad.
I am hoping for change.
Just Being Mary 