Posts Tagged ‘positive’

I am mostly a positive person. I do like to share the good stuff.

Don’t want to be that person who is surrounded by a little black cloud. No one wants to be Pig-Pen.

There are people out there who no one wants to see coming. Ever.

But if I have a concern or thought I do pass it along. Always.  Because I can’t help myself. I’m fifty one years old. If I’m thinking it then it’s going to spew out at some point.

This is how I operate.

If I send the head of school a note about a security concern I might have I will then follow it up (not the next day) with a commendation on a recent talk or event. Or praise for somethings that’s fixed.

I think about things like this.

There are a few folks that only hear about problems.

My landlord being one.

I totally understand that is a landlord’s domain. Problems to be fixed.

I only send her a text when there is a leak, the lift (elevator) is not working or some other issue in the home.

So, I sent her a message the other day.

“Hi! Hope all is well. All good here!”

Fingers crossed that I wasn’t jinxing myself.

She happily responded, “Great to hear!”

All was good with her because she was in Marbella with no heat, humidity or haze. And I wasn’t.

But she was really so happy to get a text from me just saying all was well.

My thought is that we should really think about our communications. All of them.




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Tomorrow is my father’s birthday. Those of you who know me personally are aware of how much I miss him. Not a day goes by that he is not on my mind.

But I write a lot about him. What I haven’t written about is my mother. The woman my father was crazy about since the day he met her.

My mother, weirdly enough, is very different from me. She has always been practical, direct, exact and organized.

Um, not me. She’s a Scorpio. I’m a Libra. You get it.

I look like her in many ways. Same height, weight depending on age, foot size, etc.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that she is actually one of the most positive people I know.

When Dad died, at the onset of Mom’s radiation treatments, I thought it would be really difficult.

It wasn’t easy.

But I had a mother who left every radiation session (and I mean every) saying to me as we were getting into the car, “I am so blessed.”

She was thinking of the young women that she chatted with in the rooms. That might have had it worse.

This from a woman who buried her husband a week ago.

She has always said, “No matter how bad things are you can always find some good in it.”

My mother lost her sister due to unfortunate circumstances when they were young and yet she still was there for her parents-writing out thank you notes-because they could not.

She told me, when her younger sister was having some heart problems-probably early 1980s-“I lost one sister. I am not going to lose another.”

She bought her mother a winter coat from her earnings. And also furniture for her parents’ living room.

My mom was the one who advocated for us, stayed up until we were all safely home and went up against folks in our defense.

She worked, maintained a household and did the very best she could.

She was responsible, acted like a parent and was a loyal mother, wife, daughter and sister.

I can’t remember what I had for breakfast but I remember these things.

So, Mom, on Dad’s birthday I want to think about you. And I want to thank you.

To use your words, “I am so blessed.” But I want to add something.

I am so very blessed.


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This past week, each day at the same time, I sat in a waiting room. With folks who were waiting for chemotherapy and/or radiation. Or waiting for their loved ones who were having these treatments. I was waiting for someone.

They all know each other. Like a club. I told my brother it’s like they have their own clique thing going on.

Day One:  I walk in and find a chair. Don’t say anything to anyone. I don’t know the drill. I did give a sort of a half smile. But I didn’t feel much like chatting. The previous week had been a long one so I was welcoming a short rest of nothingness.

Day Two: I hear bits and pieces. I pick up names and spirited conversation about college basketball between a nonagenarian and septuagenarian. Georgetown, Villanova (pronounced Villanover by one of them), P.C., Kentucky and others. Predictions on who will win and who will lose. I hear terms like dark horse, sweep and seed.

Day Three: They say hello to me. I respond in a cheerful manner. Then sit back and absorb the background chatter.

Vic is ninety two years old of Italian descent.

Ron’s grandmother had Russian background. Sounds like his dad’s side were Swamp Yankees.

Vic has two children. A daughter and son.

Ron, seventy nine years old, lost two siblings at young ages. I think one was forty nine years old and the other in her fifties.

Vic walks three miles a day.

Vic has an older sister in her nineties who was in perfect health until she fell. Now she is in a nursing home.

Ron is there for treatment for kidney cancer. One was removed.

Vic accompanies his wife. She put off seeing a doctor because she was scared. She acknowledged that was a big mistake.

Vic said he does things/jobs around the house but never, ever tells his son. His son doesn’t want him doing anything.

Day Four: Same. Nice greeting. There are other people that are a part of this daily group. But Ron’s the loudest and I like that he asks everyone lots of questions. Saves me the trouble while also satiating my curiosity. I now know a lot about the folks in that room. And just how many chemo or radiation sessions everyone has left.

On this day I hear Vic telling Ron, “I always walk away from negativity. All my life I just walked away from it.”

Ron laughingly responds with, “And that is why you are ninety two and in great health!”

Vic says, “Even if guys are arguing about sports I just tell them that they’re right. And I walk away. Because you’re never gonna change their minds.”

Ron said, “You’re absolutely right. You’ve got a great attitude.”

I have been thinking a lot about the waiting room conversations.

You’d think it would be one of the most depressing, negative places in the world.

It’s not.

We know life is funny. And not always in a “ha, ha” way.

It can slap us around a little. Or maybe even a lot.

We can’t avoid the slaps but we can choose to walk away from some of the negativity that surrounds them.

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I trekked through the jungle this past Tuesday here in Malaysia. It’s a guided monthly hike with a group of ladies. A different rainforest/jungle each month. It’s a great way to learn about one’s surroundings, make friends and enjoy outdoor activity.

Our guide, John, is Chinese Malaysian, local and knowledgeable. I really like him. He always shares jungle lore. Sometimes a combination of superstition, native intuition and plain old common sense.

He told us that the jungle people would never say the word “tiger” because if you said it three times then a tiger would eventually appear. And if they had to refer to the tiger they didn’t even use the word for tiger. They used another word which meant “striped one.”

Because you had the power to bring it to you.

My friend’s mother, Ann, was on the hike with us. She is visiting Malaysia for three months. And is eager to travel, keep active and find interesting things to do. We were about to hike up this steep area to reach a canopy walkway. She thought better of it, declined and told us to go without her. She’d be fine and wait for us at the rest spot.

Upon our return, I asked her if she saw or talked with anyone. Ann said that she met a woman. This lady, from San Francisco, was on a hike and stopped to chat with her. She was visiting her Chinese Malaysian mother in the nearby town. The woman said that she would be doing some traveling while she was here and asked Ann if she would be interested. Anyway, long story short, they exchanged emails. Who knows? Maybe they will hook up and see some sights together.

The point is this.

When Ann was recounting the story to me she said, “You just throw these things into the universe……”

Meaning that if you put a need or a thought out there, into the universe, it comes back fulfilled or recognized.

I believe that. Just like the jungle people believed it. Like Ann believes it.

If you just put it out there it will come back.  You have the power to bring it to you. To make it happen.

My only advice is this. Keep it positive. No one wants a tiger at their door.

So, go on, put it out there. Into the universe.


Update: Ann and the lady she met are heading out Friday to start exploring together. Both families met each other and it’s a go!

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