I was recently talking to one of my daughters who is away at university. She mentioned an upcoming party.
So, of course, I don’t stop being a Mom just because she’s away. Feeling like I have to get all of my last minute warnings in- just in case I should expire in the next few hours and the opportunity is lost.
I say, “I know you don’t party but if you did… you remember the rule, right?”
The guessing game begins. Because there are about a million rules we teach our girls. I’ve been doing it for years. Hammering these points home. Over and over again. We do it because we want to protect them. We want them to protect themselves.
She says, “Stay in a group?”
“No, not that one. But yes, please, stay in a group.”
“Watch my drink? Always keep it with me?”, she asks.
I respond, “No, that’s not it. Yes, yes, of course! Watch your drink and keep it with you always!”
It’s not just me. Parents are giving these same warnings to their daughters all over the U.S. I remember reading an article years ago about Christie Brinkley (former wife of Billy Joel) telling her daughter Alexa Ray (who was at or beginning university) to watch her drink so no one puts anything in it.
My daughter questions, “Don’t walk home at night by myself?”
“Not that! But yes, please do not walk home at night by yourself!”
I just can’t help myself.
Finally, we “I” get to the point.
“If you drink do not get behind the wheel. Call an Uber.”
She’s like, “Of course, Mom.”
Those are just a few examples of what I have actually shared with my daughters. Over and over again. There are a ton more. As we are all well aware.
The interesting thing is that we only share these warnings with our girls. There is no need to tell these things to our boys.
Why is that?
Okay, maybe just the one, “If you drink do not get behind the wheel. Call an Uber.”
So sad.
I am hoping for change.
Just Being Mary 
And yessss you and hubby have raised two simply amazing daughters whom I respect and adore! They are full of wonder, intelligent and beautiful inside and out. I can say this since I’ve known them since…well…one in diapers and the other young but wise beyond her years…yet they both are, so I’ll brush on by the one diapers 😉
She’s got tthis (that one in diapers)! You’ve got this mama bear. I feel you and I am you with my daughter in her last year of college. We will never stop being mom’s and sharing the lessons we’ve learned or wisdom we feel we’ve learned.
It is a different world with boys. I watch and wonder how my identical twin raises her two boys with similar warnings and values about safety but yet the stark contrast with how to protect themselves from the worries you’ve mentioned (minus the Uber) which we of college age young adults hopefully will across the board make their mantra of responsible if even slight embibing after a fun time out with friends.
Your blog always hits a spot with me that is meaningful, love you! It’s always great to hear your thoughts!
Thanks, Robyn! Love you, too!