No one knows your child better than you. You know their capabilities. Their strengths and their weaknesses. You know your child best.
Yes, sometimes we question ourselves. I remember my mother (a trained nurse and some experience with babies) telling me about visiting the pediatrician with a concern when my older brother was born. Even the most experienced can question themselves when it comes to their own children.
Dr. Orson looked at her and said, “Mother, you know your child best.”
It’s true. He was right.
My Rory, six years old, first grade, and a standardized test. 1998.
This test did not describe my first-born daughter. If it did I would have been fine with it. I would have expected it. But it did not fit with what I already knew. I was upset. With questions flying around my head.
I immediately telephoned my mother. She laughed at my panicked state and said, “Tsk, nothing could be further from the truth. You know that!”
She was right. I did know that. But for a few moments I had allowed a piece of paper to make me question myself. One day of testing in first grade!
Fast forward.
Rory, twenty-two years old, Arabic and History major, completed in four years while also taking off a semester. 2014.
Congratulations!
I am delighted to inform you that you have been selected for a 2014-2015 Fulbright U.S. Student Award to Jordan. The Fulbright Program is the flagship international educational exchange program of the United States. You will represent the country as a cultural ambassador while you are overseas, helping to enhance mutual understanding between Americans and the people in Jordan. You will join over 100,000 Fulbright U.S. Student Program alumni who have undertaken grants since the program began in 1948.
Don’t question what you already know. It’s not always easy. But you know your child best.
Just Being Mary 
Thank you for this, Mary Beth.
It comes at a time when my oldest child is struggling with math in school. She is behind her peers. She gets 1 hour of extra math help 2 mornings a week. (Mind you, that math “help” is computer games in which she is supervised; however, there is no interaction between her and the instructor – she’s basically on her own because they don’t want to influence her critical thinking abilities.) Since Kindergarten they have questioned ADD/ ADHD and requested I have her tested. I had her tested to shut them up. Results – she doesn’t have ADD/ADHD, nor can they truly diagnose it in a child under the age of 8. She’s now 8 1/2. She gets bored in class, she needs something to do, but she’s not disruptive. When I question getting extra help, they tell me “she’s not 2 years behind her peers yet.” Um, how does that fit with “no child left behind”. You’re telling me that by the time she’s done with 4th grade, she’ll finally understand 2nd grade math, and if she doesn’t, THEN you’ll step in? I just don’t get it. I know she can do the work. I know she knows it. I know she does not have ADD/ADHD. If she did, she wouldn’t be able to sit in her room for over an hour and read a book. She needs time. Time to think it through. Time to let her brain absorb and process what’s being asked. Time she doesn’t get because there’s so much the teachers are required to get into them in the course of 7 hours. (She was 11 weeks early, there are some learning delays. Common sense does not come easy to this child, but give her something – anything – and she will take it apart and put it back together.)
I am sure I will get letters just like this, telling me she falls below the national average, telling me she’s always going to be behind her peers. Nonchalantly telling me, in not so blunt of a way, that she’s stupid and will never amount to anything. But I know better. And I know it is my job to make sure SHE knows they’re wrong.
Didn’t mean to go off on a rant. ‘Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.’ – Albert Einstein
Congratulations to Norah. You must be over-the-moon proud!
And I remember Dr. Orson!
Jennifer
Jen-
You do know better. I’m glad to know that you already know that. I also think she’s a pretty lucky kid to have you as a mom….. 🙂